Strawberry
by Sapphiro
Summary: Although your favorite food is tomatoes, they aren't quite the indulgence strawberries are.


A/N: This is my first attempt at writing...I apologize if my characters seem OOC but please let me know what you think :) also, Rinforzando, if you are reading this, please know that your NicoMaki writing is what inspired me to write this and I hope you continue your beautiful writing.

* * *

Your parents are both doctors and, as such, have warned you very thoroughly about the dangers of sweet things. Too much, they say, will give you cavities; too much will make you spoiled, and Santa-san does not visit spoiled children; too much is indulgence. You are only allowed to indulge in that which prepares you for your future: studying, mainly, and visiting the hospital. Your parents make sure that you understand the weight of responsibility that is upon you, as an heir, and you know they only want what's best for the family. Yet, you don't really count these things as indulgence because to you, indulgence means taking pleasure in the activity, and the white sterile walls of the hospital that match the crispness of your textbook pages don't exactly fill you with joy.

Not that you'd ever tell your father that.

You find instead that music fills you with the sweet pleasure that the practice of your prospective (inevitable) future lacks. Every time your fingers rest upon the keys a sense of peace fills you, followed by the thrill that always comes when you play. You think it is because without you, the notes are just marks on paper and the piano a nice gesture from parent to child, an apology for their absence (as if an inanimate object will make up for it)- you fuse the two together to give rise to an ephemeral melody that only lasts as long as you allow it, for the feeling music gives you is so, so sweet, and thus an indulgence.

Some days you indulge more than others.

Like when that odd second year - Honoka, you learn later (who would have guessed that she and you would become quite close)- asks you to compose for her and her two friends. You initially don't want to- you don't even have the time, you're supposed to accompany your parents to a company function tonight- but the look on her face intrigues you. You're used to people looking at you with mild interest until they learn that you are the heir to the most prominent hospital chain in Japan, and then their expressions turn into forced, overeager pleasantry that is just as fake as your return. Sometimes there is a difference- your classmates usually just scan over you, having already made overtures of friendship that you turn down, and sometimes your music director gives you a genuine smile when you get an especially hard piece right- but on the whole you thought you were used to the way people look at you.

Honoka is giving you a look that you've never seen before, and it takes you a couple seconds to decipher it. There's pure determination in her eyes and desperation written over her features and it's with a slight shock that you realize that she really _needs_ you. You don't think you've ever really been _needed_ before- so far the only things that have depended on you have been your sheet notes and piano keys- and a second jolt hits you when you realize it is a nice feeling, to be needed. A sweet feeling. Indulgence. With a sigh, you mentally prepare yourself to let her down, but a second look at her face has you walking away without a word, a tune already taking form in your mind.

And just like your parents had warned you, that one indulgence only led to more, and you could already feel yourself spoiling inside. Heirs to doctorate practices are supposed to be disciplined, without ever showing too much emotion or getting attached to people. What was the point when everyone left, either through the front doors of the lobby or packed tightly in an urn? You needed to be able to drag a scalpel through a patient's skull and not have your hands shake or your heart jump at the thought of your actions. Heirs weren't supposed to have idol practice, heirs weren't supposed to have this many friends, heirs weren't supposed to have their hearts flutter in happiness whenever all of you practiced together on the school rooftop.

Heirs weren't supposed to indulge in the sweetest thing of all.

You're not surprised at all that her favorite food is strawberries, or that she wears strawberry perfume as a result, but that doesn't stop you from inhaling whenever she walks by and holding your breath for as long as you can to keep the scent in your nostrils. Of course, you think headily, of course she likes sweets; she's possibly the sweetest thing you've ever experienced so it is only natural that her preferences reflect the feelings she elicits in you. You think the others would be surprised to know of your feelings, but to you, it makes all the sense in the world. She is everything you can't be (so free in her emotions, so free in what her future can be), has everything you never did (what you wouldn't give for a sibling to look at you with that much admiration) and you can't help but envy her from behind the futile walls you try to keep up for your parent's sake.

At least, envy is what it started out as. It soon turned into attraction- didn't that throw you for a loop- and your sporadic arguments became daily as you tried not to allow yourself to indulge too much. If she thinks you don't like her, you reason, then perhaps she'll stay away and the threat of indulgence will lessen, the burden of repressing these feelings won't rest solely on you.

Unfortunately, it seems to have the opposite effect, and you begin to have _random, oh so coincidental_ run-ins with her. Between third and fourth period- _How has your day been so far Maki-chan? Shall I brighten it with a smile from Nico-nii~? -_ your walk home one day when your driver was sick with the flu- _Don't go that way Maki-chan, this way is faster_ (and you desperately tried to ignore the way your heart decided to leap into your throat when she grabbed your hand to lead you the other way)- and currently, your nighttime stroll through the park.

"Nico-chan?" you call out, and you have the slight sadistic pleasure of watching her freeze as she tries to casually disappear behind a bush. Although your arguments were supposed to make her not like you and keep her at a distance, you can't deny that the verbal sparring and the expressions she would make when you got an especially good dig in made you even fonder of her (as if that were possible).

She straightens and brushes herself off, acting casual, not at all like she was just caught attempting to dive into shrubbery, and it's then you realize that she's wearing heels (which makes her taller than you, and you don't think you quite like that) and, _wow,_ she can really pull off that white skirt. You've never seen her look so… mature, and as the blush creeping up your neck tells you, you like that look. Maybe a little too much, because now she's in front of you and waving her hand in front of your face to gain your attention.

"-rd, and geez Maki-chan if you don't answer me soon I'm gonna-"

"What are you doing here?" You cut her off, turning your head to the side so she can't see that your blush has now reached your cheeks.

"I-um, w-well I was cooking dinner for my siblings and we didn't have any rice and this just happens to be the quickest way to the grocery store-"

"You need to be dressed up like-like _that_ to go grocery shopping?" You gesture to her outfit, trying not to blush again as your eyes follow your hands.

"Idiot! You didn't let me finish! As I was _saying_ , we didn't have rice, and-"

Nico's explanation is cut short as a ringtone sounds from inside her handbag and as she reaches in to answer the call you take a step back and turn aside to give her some privacy.

"Nico-Nico-Nii! This is Nico, how can the number one idol in the universe help you?" she answers, and you can't help but roll your eyes. She catches you and sticks her tongue out at you and you stick out yours right back. A voice starts speaking and even from where you are you can hear Eli's explanation of Honoka's actions. During the call you watch her, and there is no usual teasing or proclamations of greatness that you've come to expect from her. She is completely serious about this, about convincing Honoka to go to the Love Live, and you remember that it is Nico's dream to become a renowned idol.

You recall the last time the group had to convince Honoka of anything, how you had restrain Nico from punching Honoka when she said that she quit. You could see her dream falling apart in her eyes - your arms around her weren't just to hold her back, but to hold her together (your indulgence was forgotten in the face of her pain). You figure that this situation isn't much different, and perhaps that is why Nico is being so uncharacteristically serious.

After the group call ends you are left staring at each other until you finally break the silence. "You really want to go to the Love Live, don't you."

When she speaks, it is with the same passion that drew you to her in the first place. "Of course I want to go! The Love Live is a pinnacle of idol stardom, and as the number one idol, I have to be there! Also…" she trails off for a moment before continuing. "This will be the last chance for Eli, Nozomi and I to win the Love Live with muse. The next one isn't until after we graduate."

 _Graduate_. The word sends pangs of dread through you, although numbly you know it is for the best- without Nico, your irresponsible indulgence will lessen and you can go back to learning how to be the best possible heir for your father's hospital instead of spending your lessons daydreaming about the scent of strawberries and the girl who wears it. Yet the thought of Nico leaving is enough to turn your expression sour and to your chagrin Nico catches it.

"Aww, is Maki-chan sad that her senpais are leaving? Don't worry, Nico-ni will always be here for you~" She crosses the distance between you, throwing her arms around your neck and nuzzling her cheek into yours. Her action throws you off balance and you inhale sharply as you stumble backwards and _god_ that was such a mistake and now all you can smell is her strawberry perfume and your thoughts take a dive for the inappropriate and there is just _no way_ Santa-san is visiting you this year-

"Get _off_ " you growl, giving her a shove, and the sight of the smirk on her face as she pulls away from you is enough to give your indulgence-heavy mind all the prodding it needs to let your next words fly out of your mouth without filter. "I-it's not like I'm going to miss _you_!"

A flash of hurt crosses her eyes before she can hide it and you feel like someone just kicked you in the gut. "Y-yeah, well, I won't miss you either!" she yells and turns away. At her words, the feeling intensifies, and it takes everything you have to not reach out to her and turn her around, to tell her that out of anyone in this world you'd miss her the most.

"…Idiot" you mutter, and as she whirls back around to face you, you raise your amethyst eyes to meet her ruby ones. Her response dies on her lips, and she takes a step closer to stare at you intently. You blush under the scrutiny but hold her gaze, trying to convey your feelings without actually saying the words. Your head screams at you to turn away, that this is _far_ too much indulgence, that you should not be giving into the rapid pounding of your heart and the sweat beading on your palms and the way your chest somehow feels tight and warm and constricted all at the same time, but something in her eyes holds you rooted in your position.

"…What did you call me?" she whispers, taking another step in, and suddenly your throat has gone dry and you've forgotten how to speak.

"…Idiot" you reply after a few seconds, and when she takes yet another step in, you decide to gather your courage and tell her your thoughts. Although your parents told you to stay away from sweet things, they also told you that doctors give their all in every situation, and even though you're not yet a doctor this is no exception. _If I'm already this far, I might as well see where it gets me_ you think and take a deep breath before speaking. "You're an idiot if you don't know that you're going to be missed."

You expect her to laugh, to cockily state that as the number one idol and precious senpai to her kouhais of course she'd be missed. How could the cutest idol of them all not be missed? Instead, she cocks her head at you, and from this close you can see the hesitation in her eyes. In the next moment it disappears and is replaced by something indecipherable as she says, "Explain."

Explain? What needed to be explained? She was part of muse, and muse would be nothing without her and Eli and Nozomi. Of course they would miss her. As you open your mouth to say this she cuts you off.

"I want to know why Maki-chan would miss me."

Your head reels as you try to make sense of her request. Explain why you would miss her? Explain why the mere thought of her being gone from your life gives you the chills? How could you possibly explain to her that she is your indulgence, your escape into the sweeter things of life, the girl that you have spent countless hours thinking about? How could you explain the feeling you get when you see her enter the clubroom every day, anticipation and excitement and slight guilt all rolled into one, or – _god forbid_ \- the emotion that rolls through you whenever she smiles, or smirks, or looks in your direction, like giddiness and embarrassment smashing through your façade.

You can't, you think, as you move closer to her, you can't explain this to her in words, the way she expects. Her eyes flicker down to your lips and back up to your gaze as you draw nearer, and the indecipherable look from before is crystal clear to you now- _hope_. When you are mere inches apart you speak.

"This is why I would miss Nico-chan…"

When your lips press softly against hers, you find that she tastes like strawberries- like sweetness, like indulgence- and you aren't the least bit surprised.


End file.
